I’m walking down a local bike path just trying to breathe as the storm rolls in. I have reasons to hope and plenty to worry. We’re going to have a great dinner, focus on Mario multiplayer, and let whatever happens happen—it’s all we can do.
Four years ago I was complacent. I weighed too much, didn’t exercise at all, ate and drank whatever I wanted, and didn’t care about myself all that much. Progress was alright and politics could be put out of mind. Everything would work out in the end.
I remember shaking all election night, from 8pm until I tried to go to bed and beyond. I remember having trouble breathing. The next days, weeks and months were harrowing.
I suppose I got over it eventually. Humans are able to acclimate to even the most negative changes. But an important thing came out of the last four years: a sense of weight to life. To quote Jia Tolentino, “…the way we live is not inevitable at all.”
Since Trump got elected, I’ve: lost 90 pounds; helped my partner learn how to ride a bike and biked hundreds of miles together; fought for multiple salary increases; visited every state park in Florida; experienced therapy and learned a ton of techniques to battle negativity and anxiety; acquired multiple certifications; and for the first time in my life, really started to respect myself—tracking goals, budgeting seriously with my partner, dressing up, and really believing I could do the hard things. And it took Trump’s election to enable all these things by making me realize what I was taking for granted.
During this pandemic I started triaging my belongings in an effort to donate as much as I could. I literally made an inventory in Airtable and marked every item as “keep”, “donate”, or “use and donate.” In the months that followed, I read more books, played more video games, and enjoyed more of my belongings than I ever had in any period prior. It’s all gone and I don’t miss any of it. I enjoyed the things I ditched more than I probably would have if I’d never thought to ditch them in the first place. When I planned to lose something it mattered a lot more to me.
Whatever happens tonight (or this week), let’s not forget what we stand to lose. There is no narrative arc to your life, this country or this world. Our time is limited, and there will never be a better time than now to tackle the things we’re all putting off. It is up to us to treat our lives as finite and valuable no matter how great or terrible things are outside. And if you need any help, drop me a line. 🐾
Ringtail Quest 